Most important Life Skills?
Monthly ColumnBy Daniel A. Barnes
I’m on my annual pilgrimage to Southern California for my Rotisserie baseball drafts, and I came across the work of Marla Jo Fisher, a columnist for the Orange County Register, who goes by the nickname “Frumpy Middle-aged Mom” — with the subtitle “just can’t bring myself to browbeat my children into achievement.”
I am particularly intrigued by a hypothetical question that Fisher poses: “Is ‘browbeating our children into achievement’ a good idea?” But, rather than tackle that question, for now I’d like to think about the longer term and this question: What are the core skills that our children need to learn? i.e. which life skills are really important?
I think there are just four. Three are communicative in nature (reading, writing and speaking), and the last is computation.
Read for Comprehension
First, everyone needs to be able to read for comprehension. If you read documents, books, pamphlets, and any other ordinary documents (ballot propositions excepted) and come away befuddled, then you are going to have a hard time in life. It’s going to be difficult to hold down a job that provides a living wage in northern California. So, reading for comprehension is a core skill.
Concise Writing
Second, you’ve got to learn to express yourself in written form concisely. Learning how to do this takes some time. Schools seem to be stuck on the same format as they taught 60 years ago, namely the five-paragraph essay. I propose that perhaps a few other written forms may be of value; for example, the business memo, or its modern-day equivalent, the informative, concise email.
This isn’t an easy thing to master, as Blaise Pascal wrote:
“Je n’ai fait celle-ci plus longue parceque je n’ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte”
(I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short.”
Writing a concise email that communicates is a skill. Today’s “chat” and “text”-based writing isn’t quite the same thing. If you want to see where your kids are at in this skill development, I’ve got an idea. Next time they ask you for something, (the car keys, a ride into town, permission to do some complicated weekend plan, ask them to “put it in a memo.” See what you get. If your kids can not express what they want and why in a few sentences, then there’s probably some room for improvement in their writing. Even with new form of communication (voice memos, tweets, or youtube videos), concise written communication skills are non-negotiable for a every person engaged in the knowledge economy.
Articulate Speaking
Finally, articulate speaking is a core skill that is required for most jobs that pay a multiple of the minimum wage. (And making much more than minimum wage is necessary if you ever want to be able to afford to live under your own-financed roof in Northern California.) Verbal articulation, similar to written articulation, is not an easy skill to master. It involves a combination of vocabulary, mental acuity, grammar, and logical thinking, as well as personal skills of empathy, humor, and patience, as well as physical skills of projection and confidence.
Math Competence
Last, proficient arithmetic computation is critical, lest you be cheated out of your change (or sign loan documents that tie your future mortgage rate to dangerously high floating rates). A lot of people try to go through life without proficient computational skills. I believe that with better computational skills it is easier to make retirement planning and budgeting decisions. My favorite way of teaching computation skills is board and card games, but that’s just me.
How do we best support our kids to master these skills? Frumpy Mom says, “Unlike Tiger Mom’s kids, mine rarely practice their instruments.” Does browbeating our kids to do well in school help them ultimately master these four skills? I’m not sure. It’s related to the question of how much harm we’re doing as helicopter parents. But what I do know is that ultimately the core skills of reading for comprehension, writing concisely, speaking articulately, and calculating pragmatically are non-negotiable skills for life.
Let me know your thoughts on the browbeating~
Barnes Capital LLC is a Registered Investment Advisor located in downtown Lafayette in the Bay Area. We manage trusts and retirement income portfolios. Financial planning is an integral part of our process. We protect client capital using municipal bonds, high-quality dividend-increasing companies and precious metals, which have protected wealth in every epoch spanning five millennia of bankruptcies, inflation and other forms of attrition. Call 925-284-3503 and visit www.barnescapital.com.
April 8th, 2011 at 7:20 am
Dan, you ask, “Let me know your thoughts on the browbeating”
I’ve always suspected that my dad was a genius. He never encouraged me to study or do much of anything else. Still, I made it through 3 years of Grad School at UC and had a good career in spite of being dyslexic. How’d he do it?
He gave me a major Real Life Success Experience early in life when he almost died and I got credit for saving him. It felt great and I set out to learn how to do it for others. He showed me that achievement was fun and rewarding. Heck, no kid wants to lose their dad – especially ones who don’t browbeat them.